SMART Group - Surface Mount and Related Technologies

Ed Starts A Turf War

My mates can’t understand why I’ve not featured in the sex scandals, Ed confides to his diary, they know I was a bit of a dog with the girls during my business career and since becoming a Cabinet Minister the opportunities have multiplied and, well, leopards don’t change their spots.

If anyone should have been hoist on a tabloid petard by now it should have been me. Why not?

Very simple, none of my Ministerial colleagues see me as a threat to their own advancement because I’m a co-opted businessman, here today and gone tomorrow, and a peer of the realm which means I can’t become PM.

So despite my dodgy record as a sex pest I’m immune from exposure because the leaks all come from colleagues and colleagues don’t see me as worth leaking about.

So with colleagues vulnerable and me  safe, now is the time for a turf war.

I call in the Permanent Secretary.

“I suppose you know the Permanent Secretary at the Hone Office?” I ask.

“We were contemporaries at Balliol and we lunch together once a fortnight, Secretary of State,” he replies.

Thick as thieves these Civil Servants.

“I want you to tell him that we’re taking over the process of issuing visas to tech industry immigrants,” I tell him.

“Might I suggest, Secretary of State, that it seems rather improbable that the Home Secretary would agree to that,” responds the PS.

“Don’t you worry about the Home Secretary, he’ll agree,” I tell

A quick word with the Home Secretary about his reprehensible habit of propositioning the waitresses in the Strangers’ Dining Room will do the trick in the current febrile climate.

When the tech companies know I’m the route to them getting them all the foreign techies they need, they’ll be falling over themselves to press goodies on Yours Truly.

Article source: